Scott's Tribute to His Dad

My Dad

In 1935, a young couple married in Atlantic City.  As they began their home, Vance and Arlene longed to have a family.  However, after 10 years went by with no success they almost gave up hope.  Then, in 1945, only weeks after Vance was sent overseas with the military, Arlene found out that she was pregnant.  The baby they hoped for and dreamed about was finally here!  On December 21^st, 1945 Michael Mellinger was born.  It was clear from the beginning that God had special plans for my dad.  Throughout the years this was evident as my dad touched many through his career, his hobbies and most importantly his role as a father. 

He began his career in environmental engineering in the 1970’s.  Over the next 30+ years he helped companies protect the environment from harmful waste and create a safe environment for their employees.  Though sometimes our jobs seem small and insignificant, my dad’s job was neither.  Because of him the earth is a cleaner place and thousands of people have a safer work environment.

My dad’s hobbies are also inspiring.  When I was young my dad began running to get in shape.   Since then he has run countless miles and completed numerous marathons.  Some of our fondest memories have been running together and helping each other complete marathons.  Throughout the years my dad has also enjoyed hiking, especially at famous sites.  Hiking the Grand Canyon down and back in one day is a great memory that we share.  His discipline and stamina continue to encourage me to be the best that I can be no matter what I am doing.   

Perhaps the most significant impact my dad has made and continues to make is as a father.  As a child my dad became my biggest fan as he helped me to pursue sports and other interests.  He coached many of my teams and helped me to train strategically.  Throughout the years of wrestling, running, soccer and baseball my dad never missed a game.  Everyone began to know my dad because he was the one cheering the loudest.  He was also very involved with our Boy Scout troop and Indian Guides.   His devotion and love for me are one of the most significant memories in my life. 

Ever since the beginning, Dad, it has been clear that God has had special plans for your life.  Your concern for me, our family and countless others will have a lasting impact.  Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do.  I love you from the bottom of my heart.  I would not be who I am today were it not for you and your love.                      

Love,

“Your #1 son”~ Scott

(an inside joke - because I was his first child he called me his #1 son)

A Day of Questions and Answers

On Tuesday night, September 27, 2011, at 8:20 Scott’s Dad took his final breath after a year and a half battle with cancer.  We loved him very much and miss him greatly.  We all are still in a state of shock that this could happen to a man of 65 who had been the picture of youth and health.  Running was his passion; he traveled the country doing various marathons and spent countless hours training for them.  He was also an adventurer who set off to follow his dreams to climb Mount Everest and Mount Kilimanjaro.  So it seems odd to us, even wrong, that cancer should strike this type of a man. 

Death and sickness in general just feels wrong – and rightfully so.  This was never what God intended for us.  When He created the world – He created a place of peace and joy, and the satisfaction of work and rest but most of all He created LIFE.  Death entered the world only because of our choice to sin and rebel against God.  God made rules – good rules, just like parents make good rules for their children.  But we chose to break those rules and go our own way.  God's Word makes it clear – “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.” (Isaiah 53:6).

So what happens next?  Sometimes when our kids are bad and we tell them they need to obey they ask "Or else what Mom?"  Unfortunately for them the punishment usually gets worse with attitudes like that.  But we know that no child would think that his parents were loving and good if his parents did not rightly punish bad behavior.  In the same way, because God is loving and just He must punish evil.  We don’t have to wonder what the punishment is, God clearly says in His Word that “the wages of sin is death.”  This type of death is not only physical but eternal as well; for a Holy God cannot allow sin in Heaven. 

We know deep down inside, that this is true and right; and we grieve because none of us is without sin.  No matter how hard we try to be good we know in our heart of hearts that we have and continue to do wrong things and have therefore grieved the heart of God.  We must come to grips with this truth – for if we don’t we will deceive ourselves and suffer the eternal consequences.  The truth of the matter is that no matter how many good things we do, the wrong things we have done still need to be punished. 

How then can God be loving?  The answer is simple: Jesus.  Jesus Christ, God’s One and Only Son came to this world to take the punishment for us.  He created this world and created us with His own hands that we might love Him and have a relationship with Him.  So when we sinned and chose the way of death and separation from Him – He was the one who was most grieved.  Because God loved us so much and wanted us to be with Him, He sent Jesus to take our place and to die for us.  “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom 5:6-8)

Many people know that Jesus came to earth on Christmas and died on Easter, and they believe that there is a God.  However, there is something crucial that many people do not know:  God, from the very beginning created us with the ability and desire to choose.  From the start He let us choose to obey Him or disobey Him, and now He lets us choose to accept Jesus’ payment for our sins or reject it.  He does not force or automatically apply Christ’s work on the cross to every person.  Love is not forced.  He does not desire that anyone should perish but He allows us to make that choice.

Have you made that choice?  Perhaps you have known and believed that Jesus is real and that He died on the cross.  But maybe you have never made the choice to accept His gift of salvation for yourself.  Maybe you have been trusting in your good deeds to get you to Heaven.  God clearly tells us in His Word that our good deeds are not able to do that - in fact, compared to Jesus, God says they are like filthy rags.   If you haven't already, consider what God has said and put your faith and trust in Christ alone for your salvation.  Your very life depends on it.  We never know when our last day will come.                     

The Bottom Line

    The bottom line on the issue of birth control is the answer to this question:  Who creates the baby?  If the baby is created at radom intervals then I create the baby.  Therefore I am creating my family, and I should try my best to control the situation to the best of my ability and my wisdom. 
   But if the baby is created only by God then it is an act only done by Him.  Therefore any birth control methods I use are designed to try to stop God from making any babies.  Some say that they use birth control and if God wants to make a baby then He will just have to do it supernaturally, because they don't want any room for an "error."  As if God would make a mistake.  (Tangent:  Do you struggle with self esteem issues?  Maybe it's because you think of yourself as an "error.")  He can do the supernatural but the point is that we are still trying to control God.  We can have sex untill we are blue in the face but it is God who unites the sperm and the egg.  I have no control over that whatsoever.  Even when going to a specialist, or using a drug, it is still God who creates the baby.
   God's Word is not silent on the topic.  Psalms states that it is God who creates us and not we ourselves.  Another chapter in Psalms states that God has created our inmost being.  Acts 17:26 also states that God creates each of us.  In the story of Jacob and Leah and Rachel we see that God is specifically opening and shuting the womb.  In Exodus God tells Moses that it is Him who makes people - those with disabilities and those without.  There are many more that confirm the fact that it is God alone who creates the baby.     
   People may say, God doesn't want me to have a big family, therefore I use birth control.  But if it is only God who creates the baby and you are not using birth control, then if God doesn't want you to have a baby you won't.  And there are many people who have small families who don't use birth control.
   Conception is not a radom occurence.  Conception is not you and God working together.  Far be it from us to have such arrogant, ignorant thoughts.  Our culture has fed us these lies.  Let us return to Christ and His Word.  Conception is God alone.  "We are His offspring." (Acts 17)  Do we believe His word?  Do we trust Him?     
      

A Blessing or a Curse?

    If "birth control" were practiced in the past like it is today, would our world look different?  How would it be different?  Who wouldn't be here?  Rick and Jan Hess the authors of "A Full Quiver" write about this subject.  They invite us to imagine hosting a dinner party for famous and influential people of the past, but the catch is that they have to be only the first, second or third born.  Who wouldn't be invited to the party?  These are a few highlights from the list:  King David, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, George Washington, Jonathan Edwards, David Livingston, Dwight L. Moody, Nate Saint, Corrie ten Boom and Susanna Wesley and her sons John and Charles.  It is interesting to note that Susanna was baby #24 and John and Charles were #15 and #17!
    Clearly these people would be acclaimed as some of the most influential people of all time.  Their lives continue to bless us even today. But today, sadly, many believe that people are not a blessing but a curse.  Countries in our world outlaw children, Population Control would have us believe that children are a poison to our earth, and the Humanists of our country have indoctrinated us against having large families.  These are largely the views of people who don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  But are the views really any different within the Body of Christ?
    All throughout scripture it is evident that God considers children a blessing.
*"God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number...' " Gen. 1:28
*"God blessed Noah and his sons saying to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number...' " Gen. 9:1
*"I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her..." Gen.17:16
*"So God was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous" Ex.1:20
* A blessing was spoken over Ruth's child - the grandfather of David.  Ruth 4:11-22
*"Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife saying, May the Lord give you children...And the Lord was gracious to Hannah and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters." 1Sam.2:20-21
*Elizabeth was blessed to have a baby. see Luke 1
*"Blessed are you [Mary] among women and blessed is the Child you will bear!" Luke1:42
*"And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." Mk. 10:16
*Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Ps. 128:3-5 
    Do we really believe that people are a blessing?  Many would say that 1-3 is a blessing (given the right spacing) but beyond that babies can be a burden.  They are hard to manage, hard to provide for, and hard to raise.  We say that babies are a blessing and no one rejects the blessing of the baby they hold but to have any more - that would be a burden. 
    Think of it this way, let's say that your boss offered you a raise for your hard work.  Would you consider that money a blessing?  Most would accept it and say that God blessed them with more money.  But if God were to offer you the blessing of more children, would you accept them or would you say, "Thank you very much but I have enough blessings right now." 
    Maybe your heart does love children and truly does consider them a blessing.  But maybe you have gone through terrible circumstances and have made birth control decisions based on those times.  I don't have all the answers, but God does.  Could God redeem your situation and give you beauty for ashes?  Do not fear, God says, He will never leave you or forsake you.  God only wants the best for us and that is my heart for you my friend, that you would know and experience the blessing of God. 

Disclaimer

    Writing a blog is difficult in some respects.  Tone, emotion and intent are often hard to detect or judge correctly.  We want each person who reads Our Heart to know that no post is written to any one specific person, or in response to any one particular conversation.  Over the past 20 years I (Connie) and more recently Scott have been meditating on and researching this topic.  Recently, we have felt extremely burdened and called to share what we have learned.  As we share from God's word our goal is to challenge the reader to investigate what the Bible teaches concerning family "planning."  Our desire is that we might challenge people to think deeper than the surface level and go to the root of what they believe and why they believe it.  Then, hopefully, all of us will prayerfully evaluate whether or not our actions concerning this or any other topic line up with our beliefs. 
     Above all, we want each reader to know that we love him or her deeply no matter what decisions are made or have been made.  Our prayer is just that we would each be open to seeking and submitting to Him, His Word and His Heart.       

Why Children?

It has been said that the only thing needed for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.  It is obvious to see that in our world evil is succeeding, so where are the good men?  Are we to blame?  Where are our children - children of the people of God?  Have we rejected them before they were even conceived?    

Is God really looking for a “few good men?”  Is this why God wants us to have children?  The answer may surprise you.  Not only has God commanded us to fill the earth with children but He has also told us why.    Malachi 2:15 states the reason, “Has not the Lord made them [husband and wife] one?  In flesh and spirit they are His.  And why one?  Because He was seeking godly offspring.”

 Acts 17:26 says,” From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.”   Again we see that God makes the person and specifically orchestrates the time and the place for him. But why does He do this?  Verse 27 explains, “God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.”

God also gives us another reason for having children.  We are in a spiritual battle and God’s children are a “weapon” or a defense against the Evil One.  Jesus said that He came that we might have life and might have it abundantly, but Satan’s goal is to kill, steal, and destroy.  Though we often think about these concepts in the spiritual realm, they are useless if there is no physical life.  That is why Satan does seek to physically kill people (whether it be cutting them off before they are conceived or sometime afterward) – to put an end to God’s kingdom.  Ephesians tells us that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground.”

 Many of us are familiar with the armor of God described in Ephesians 6, but are we familiar with this part of our defense?  Psalms 127:3-5 shows us another piece of our defense, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.  They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” 

Imagine the impact of a godly family designed by God.  Imagine the impact of many children growing up to love and serve the Lord.  How might our community, state, country or even the world look if we allowed God to bless us the children He wants?  How much ground would we be able to recover from the enemy with our troops enlarged?

We are in a battle, according to Ephesians 6.  God does say that in the end times the world will become more and more wicked.  But we are not to stop fighting the good fight.  We are not to stop evangelizing.  We are not to stop procreating.  If, for a time, evil does succeed let it not be because we were negligent.  God has won the victory and will come back as conqueror.  Therefore let us run the race set before us; let us not shrink back.  Let us wholeheartedly commit to following the Lord, trusting in Him and changing our heart to match His.

"To Be or Not to Be"

    "To be or not to be that is the question."  To be born or not to be born?  Who has the power?  Who has the control?  Psalms 100:3 states, "It is He who made us and not we ourselves."  Perhaps one of the greatest lies in our culture is that "we are in control of creating life."  We think that it is up to us to make the decision of when and how many children we should have.  And that the "wise" person will carefully calculate timing and circumstances to "create" life when it is most convienent.
    While it is true that God allows us the power to end life and to keep life from being created, we cannot create a person.  Do we really believe God's word, "It is He who made us and not we ourselves"?  We can seek doctors to heal, repair or encourage our reproductive systems but it is still God who creates the life.  If we are married it is impossible for us to err in this arena.  We cannot have too many children, we cannot have them at the wrong time or even for the wrong reason because we do not create the children. 
    So if it is truly God creating the life within us it is only logical that we trust Him for His timing and His plan.  Once we limit, space or cut off children we are saying, "I don't trust God."
    *Is God not big enough to provide for the babies He creates?
    *Is God not wise enough to know when the babies should be born?
    *Is God not strong enough to enable our bodies to handle the pregnancy and delivery? 
      (If we are in submission to Him, He knows when to take us home and how)
    *Is God not sufficient enough to handle our potential post-pardom depression?
No potential problem is to difficult for God.  Luke 1:37 says, "Nothing is impossible with God."  Phillipians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 
    God's command is that we be fruitful and increase in number, (i.e. we have sex at the right time) and God creates the life.  Life is not created at random intervals.  God specifically designs and creates a person.  You and I are not accidents.  God knows any problems that might arrise, He knows what the doctors say, He knows your pain and His plan is perfect.  But when we cut off life it is no longer His plan but ours.  Do we trust God?